I recently saw a video of a man who spoke about doing Ayahuasca over 100 times. I’ve never done Ayahuasca but I’ve always been curious about it. It speaks to me as someone who does a lot of soul searching… wondering what doors it could open or what it might help me understand about who I am and where I’m headed. So when the video came up on my feed, I clicked.

What struck me most wasn’t how powerful Ayahuasca is. It was how even more powerful doubt can be.

As he spoke about his experiences, one thing kept coming back. You can have the most profound experience in the world… something that cracks you open and points you somewhere new. But if you do not take a step towards it, doubt takes over and your mind will pick it apart until it kills the most important thing… the feeling.

That’s how powerful doubt is. Give it enough time, and it will do the rest.

I sat with that for a while after the video ended.

Because it’s not just Ayahuasca. It’s anything that moves you. A piece of music you made that actually felt like something. A session where everything clicked. A moment where you thought, yeah… this is it. And then a day later you’re second-guessing it. Pulling threads. Wondering if it’s actually good or if you just got caught up in the moment.

Doubt doesn’t give a shit what triggers it.

Self-doubt as a music producer is always present, because we’re constantly at odds with ourselves. Between making music we think we should make and music we actually want to make. Between how we think the process should look and simply trusting our ears. We want certainty. Certainty that it’ll sound good, that it’ll connect, that it’ll hold up. So we look for absolutes in something that really isn’t about that.

There are no absolutes in music. That’s the beauty of it. You can make it whatever you want it to be. No hack or quick fix is going to solve not finishing music… because the problem was never technical. It was always this. The doubt that creeps in and quietly dismantles the feeling before you’ve had a chance to follow it anywhere.

Just like the man in the video learned, I’ve had to learn the same thing. Trusting your instincts is the actual work. It’s what gets the doubt out of the driver’s seat and puts you back in front of the music with a reason to keep going.

That’s the road towards finishing the music you love. And it starts with not letting your head talk you out of what your gut already knows. –